Friday, August 24, 2012

...Then, suddenly, from out of nowhere!!!

I've not had enough time to even consider this blog, Sex is Fun, the games, the book, Bathtalk, or the Kapers. I've been off the show for over a year and the last time I logged into Kidder's email account there were so many unread emails that I can't bring myself to begin trudging through them. It is really depressing to read emails that I should have answered long ago. I feel sad that I've not been there for so many people that sought my help. I feel especially guilty when the help they seek is advice that I can easily give, if only I had the time to give them. I feel I've abandoned my friends who've been there for me so many times when I needed them. :-( 

In my partial defense, life has required my attention doing something else and it has been demanding. The work has been great and I'm helping lots of people and bringing a lot of value and purpose to all the projects I've touched. But as I write this, I must admit I'm procrastinating on a script that was due yesterday for a project that is designed to improve the health and comfort of millions of people with [NOT AT LIBERTY TO SAY] ailments. 

Though I've spent much of last year focused like a laser, I've noticed that I've become distracted this month. Perhaps I should have dosage on my ADD meds adjusted or perhaps this is my mind telling me that something is missing. Usually my brain starts wandering when it determines it needs to start doing something else and wisdom should tell me that I should follow. As though it were a truffle sniffing hog, my wandering mind has always led me to vast accomplishments and treasure.

On one of my brain's lazy walks through the paths of distraction and fantasy, it picked up the scent of something that excited it greatly. Loosely holding the leash, I followed through a thicket of prickly underbrush. On the other side I found a long abandoned SiF game project in various phases of (in)completion. My brain wagged its tail happily upon discovering the dusty components. "I dunno boy," I said as I inspected the disarray of the abandoned idea. "We'd have to invest a lot of time that we don't have to finish this one." My brain barked and spun around a few times in place as if to say, "WE CAN DO IT!!!"

That was a week ago... I'm not ready to release more information currently, except to say that I've averaged about 3 hours of sleep per night since. Oh, and something went from incomplete, to it's first beta testable form. I guess my brain was right. We did do it. 

Here are some photos hot off the prototype machine. Now I goth get back to writing that script.

Kidder Kaper was, a one time, a sex educator, author, sex game designer, podcaster and self-proclaimed leader of the new sexual revolution. Now he's just a reclusive blogger who's fallen into obscurity and really doesn't blog enough to respectively call himself a blogger. :P

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Whoa! Time to dust the cobwebs...

I'm hiring an assistant. I am going to reclaim some form of a life outside of the massive amount of work and travel I've been neck-deep in lately. We have news and stories! I don't even know if anyone out there even cares anymore, but perhaps a there a still a few with an ear to the Kaper's. I guess we'll see.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Happy New Year! Obviously, we have been neglecting this blog a bit....My excuse is the same as everyone else’s excuse of being busy. In all honesty, Kidder has been crazy busy, to the extent that for most of November and December I feel like I barely laid eyes on him. Because he didn’t have much time for articles and writing, I didn’t feel the pressure to take my turn. Pathetic excuse, I know, but now that he has made a few posts, I feel like it is my turn to contribute.

On that note, it is now January 5th, 2012. I feel like 2011 was a really crappy year. As many of you know, my actions caused us to go through a really rough patch this year. As New Years Eve approached, I found myself avoiding making any plans. Most years, we have a party to host or at the very least attend. This year, however, I kept thinking, I want New Years Eve to be COMPLETELY different because then maybe this year will be completely different. It is funny how we try to change little things in the hopes of causing big changes as a result. With that goal in mind, we had a relatively low key New Years Eve celebration. I invited only Lorax and FKS to join us for the evening. I was hoping to recreate our regular Saturday nights from years past. It had seemed like forever to me since we just hung out playing board games. That is exactly what we did. We had a nice dinner with the kids and played some board games.

In the spirit of the new year, I did make everyone join me around the fireplace as, in my goal to start 2012 in a different way, I thought it would be nice to start a new tradition that would stick with us for the year. I am not a fan of New Years Resolutions (because I always break them) but I asked everyone to share something they hoped to learn or do in 2012. I was met with mixed levels of enthusiasm... some of the group acted like I wanted them to pull off their fingernails with a pliers and others were full of ideas! I thought for my blog post I would share with you a bit of what we came up with.

Jade: I want to expand my knowledge of photography and how to take great pictures with my camera. I look forward to the opportunity to try, fail, and learn.

Rex: I want to make a Zombie movie with my cousins this summer and I want to plan spy missions on my iPod Touch and carry them out in my yard this summer.

LadyBug: I want to go to Disney World and the Mall of America. I want to learn how to read chapter books.

Kidder: I want to learn the beginning stages of philanthropy and the non-profit industry. I would also like to build a three person app development team to develop new software.

Kidder: I would like to read a book and do research about how to be a board member of a small or large private companies.

FKS: I want to go on more vacations. Top two choices: Seattle, WA and Germany (The Alps).

Lorax: I want to build a wall in my condo to separate off a mud room.

Jade: I want to make my craft room beautiful so I feel creative when I am in it. Most specifically I want to get rid of the disgusting stained, painted on, spilled on white carpet and beige tile.

Kidder: I want to finish my hobbit hole (aka beach front guest house).

Rex: I want to invite all my friends over this summer and spend the whole day wake boarding.

Jade: In light of Rex’ goals, I want to learn how to dock the boat in the boat lift so Kidder is not required for all boat related activities.

As I gathered everyones goals and ideas, I wrote them down and told them of my plans to make them look pretty so I could display them for us all to remember throughout the year. With this new tradition completed, it was time to watch the ball drop. We counted down and tucked the kids in. Then it was off to the hot tub for the grown-ups. As usual pleasant inappropriate conversation was enjoyed by all. By now, it was VERY late so our next event was movie time/sleep with the projector on. We worked our way into the theater, and as we did, we heard a Prince song playing on the iPod. Despite my best intentions of having a New Years Eve celebration that was nothing like last years’, you can’t help but dance to a Prince song. So dance is exactly what we did. Although the crowd was a little smaller than last year and the collective experiences of the group were different than the collective experiences of the group from last year, all four of us danced. Naked. With the door locked, of course.

Even though our night ended with a naked dance party just like New Years Eve 2011, (albeit with fewer people than last years), I didn’t feel like I jinxed myself to have another year like 2011. I ended the night telling Kidder that my primary goal of 2012 was to have a good year, specifically, with him. I am hopeful that will happen and can’t help but smile at the fact that at the Kaper Kompound, you can always count on naked dancing.

Wishing you all the best in 2012!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Kidder's Got His Eye on a New Summer Toy!!!

If you live in Minnesota, you become conditioned to life with two seasons, the hot one, and the cold one. Sure we average a couple of weeks of that perfect 70˚ish temp in the fall and spring but we also have to accept that we may wake up to 4 feet of snow on Halloween morning. The summers are awesome if you like hot humid days (and I do) blended with cool (sometimes crisp) nights that are perfect for a polar fleece and a bonfire. If you live here, you also either live on one of our many beautiful naturally spring-fed lakes, or know someone who lives on one of those lakes and, therefore, visit often.
water jet pack
In the early spring Minnesota lakeshore enthusiasts attend boat shows, seeking the ultimate boat lift accessory or dock-mounted, solar powered brat grill. With sweaty palms we ceaselessly page through the Overton's catalog seeking absolutely unnecessary materialism with a fervor that should be considered excessive by the standards of any midwesterner. Wetsuits designed to squeeze the last bit of waterskiing fun into late September, Jetskis capable of traveling at thrice the speed of sound, and the newest wakeboard towers that guarantee that your kids will win medals at the next X-Gravity Game Extreme-Sport something, are available to everyone with a passion for watersports ;) and enough coins in their purse to make the purchase.

While I do dedicate a fair amount of time each season to research the newest advancements in electric wakeboard boats, this year I've got my eyes fixated on something completely different. I want to fly and now I can actually buy a jetpack that will allow me to skim above the water with enough grace and agility to make Buck Rodgers look up from sodimizing Twiki long enough to become green with envy. It is called JetLev-Flyer and now that I've seen it, I'm going to need to make extra room in the boathouse.

ultralightUnlike traditional jetpacks that only allow for VERY limited flight times, this one tows it's power plant behind in the water, allowing pilots flights of fancy that exceed 30 minutes of sustained hovering. The tech is essentially a jet ski that directs the water through a hose to steerable nozzles affixed to the pilot's back. For less than $100k, anyone can fly. This price is steep especially when considering that the most expensive wakeboard boat with every bell and whistle I could imagine only tops out at about $89k. Even the Quicksilver GT-500 Ultralight that I tooled around in back in the '90s topped out at $55k after floats, ballistic parachute, and upgrading the Rotax engine. But there is a lot more to aircraft ownership than simply the cost of the lamest and least air-worthy aircraft that I've ever flown. Storage and airport fees aside, maintenance on aircraft is much like tending live animals. It is a constantly annoying and expensive undertaking that leads to traumatic and heartbreaking disaster should it be handled with half-assed efforts. The JetLev on the other hand is more like an ATV than an aircraft. I took a look at their patents and I think it is only a matter of time before another company comes in and offers the same gear for a significantly reduced rate. Hardware alone, this tech could easily be reproduced and sold for between $10k and $14k and when that happens, I'll be the first in line with money in hand.

Get ready folks! Soon you'll see Kidder flying around like a cosmonaut with a vodka enema.


Kudos to my old podcasting gang on who recorded a show all about animal sex with


who taught us all a lot more about duck penises and vaginas than the Discovery Channel would ever risk. Fascinating stuff really.

Ever wanted to watch Isabella Rossellini
have sex with a duck? Who hasn't?!?