Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Today I had my post-surgical follow up after my Essure procedure, so I thought I would tell you about it while it was still fresh in my mind. Typically, Essure is an in office procedure, but my doctor recommended I have the procedure in the outpatient surgery center. She has been a little skittish about my uterus since I had a seizure during labor with my first child, so I can understand her need to take precautions. Besides, I really had no interest in being “aware” while she was tugging, pushing, and feeding the scope up through my vagina into my tipped uterus on her way to my fallopian tubes.
When I saw her today, she told me that she was very glad she made the decision to put me out while she worked. She explained that the scope does not bend and that she worked up a bit of a sweat moving me around to get the scope up into my fallopian tubes. I can’t say I am sorry I missed that at all. To be perfectly honest, I don’t remember anything after being wheeled in to the surgery room, until they were waking me up telling me I was finished. I believe my completely appropriate comment when that happened was “I don’t feel like anyone was digging around in my private parts!” Comments like that are apparently not quite as amusing to vanilla people as they are to people like me. Oh well...
After the procedure, I hung out in the recovery center for a little while and then was released into the care of my lovely husband to be taken home with instructions to relax for at least a day and not to do any lifting for a few days. I really did not have any discomfort that day or any day after. I didn’t even need to take ibuprofen. The most uncomfortable side effect was the dehydration that plagued me for the weekend, which I assume is related to the medication they used to knock me out. I had a little bit of spotting for a couple of days and that was it. All I have left to do now is a three month post-surgical follow up to confirm the implant is working. I am so glad I had this procedure! I realized as I was driving home that I saw a few pregnant women in the office and the only feeling I had was relief that I will never wear maternity clothes again!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
I woke up later than Jade and the kids but was the first one ready and waiting in the car. A good attitudes means you aren't dragging your feet or procrastinating, so I was sure to be moving with a bounce in my step from the first step. After a quick stop in the office, we parked and caught the bus to the Minnesota State Fair Grounds. My son sat next to me asking questions about the rides and foods and toys he'd be allowed today. I whispered in his ear, "If your attitude is great and you are nice to your little sister, there's little I'll say no to today." A giant grin appeared on his face and he immediately began talking to his sister as though he was the best big brother in the world. Jade gave me a wink, letting me know she'd heard that conversation.
We exited the bus and skipped past the scalpers selling "discounted passes" and paid the $46 to get us all inside those rusted gates that stood between us and deep-fried Twinkie's, cheese curds, and mini doughnuts . Deciding we were all hungry we mutually decided we should find the nearest corn-dog stand gather some lipids to prime our systems for the digestive onslaught that awaited us over then next several hours. As easy as you would think that would have been we found that not all stands advertising "THE BEST PRONTO PUPS AT THE FAIR!!!" actually even sell corn dogs. So we stumbled around haphazardly following our noses toward scents that matched what we ventured to find.
This journey led us through one of many shopping pavilions that sold talking toilet seats that shouted insults when sat upon and glue-on nail decorations for kids so that now your daughter can also look like a courtesan of patrons with limited resources. But then we saw it, and my son and I stood motionless as it buzzed dangerously close over our heads. It was a remotely controlled toy helicopter and he and I looked at each other knowing, without speaking, that we needed to own one of these amazing flying toys.
He and I ditched the wife and daughter and went searching for the source of the amazing hovering contraption. There we talked to the cute salesgirl who know a heck of a lot more about R/C hobbies than anyone would have expected. Geekyness is now sexy and there is no denying it. Once she showed us the über expensive version with built-in HD camera there was no backing out of this purchase. She even threw in a smaller one so we could practice crashing before taking the big one into the sky. After swiping my card she glued our names to the boxes and put them into safe keeping while we enjoyed our day at the Fair.
Using my iPhone I relocated the other half of my family and went on our merry way. We ate some alligator, which I’m sure was about 10% gator and 90% lips and assholes of other, more common, farm animals. We got a bucket of, “The Worlds Best French Fries,” that were, I must admit, pretty darn tasty. We found a stand selling corn dogs and having not had one in several years, was surprised at how delicious the were. Jade got a Gyro that tasted like a standard Gyro to me but she swears is better at the fair than anywhere else.
I talked to Al Franken for a bit about sex education programs being pulled from Minnesota health classes. He responded by saying, “I don’t like that most schools are getting rid of HEALTH CLASSES completely.” He then joked under his breath, “Seriously, those middle school kids have got to learn about deodorant.” I like him, he’s one of the few politicians I know that actually responds to A LOT of his own mail and remembers many of my letters to him. Whether or not you like his politics, you cannot deny, he’s a good dude.
As we toured an old circus train that made frequent visits to Minnesota I caught myself having a really great time. My kids were asking us tons of questions about the fair, the historical relics, and life in general. We were all getting along great, the kids were well behaved and I think I kinda understand what this whole experience is all about. It is about having an experience together, with people we care about, alongside the rest of the community.
We found a soda stand that sold some seriously crazy-ass flavors and we each tried a different kind, sharing sips from each other’s bottle as we walked. My son and daughter bounced a few steps ahead of us as we headed toward the midway. Jade reached her hand around my back and pulled me close with a smile as we walked in tandem. I felt a warmth in my chest, and hoped it wasn’t a cholesterol deposit dislodged from taking down one of the many deep-fried wonders of the day.
I realized that the fair is like anything else in life, if you go into it with a great attitude, you’ll probably enjoy yourself. I chose to be GGG and what I got in return was enjoyment. What I gave to my family was a dad who made the day fun. These are the memories that we’ll hold on to when time causes my children to grow up. These moments of unbridled sugar-laden, deep-fried hedonism are worth the pain and expense of my first angiogram.
We caught up to the kids and walked with them, all four of us holding hands. I took the kids on the Scrambler and a few other rides that made us all laugh and scream. On our way back to the entrance of the fairgrounds my son reminded me that we needed to pick up our helicopters and pointed to a giant crowed massing in front of the doors of the shopping pavilion. He said with a straight face, “That is not the place to be during a zombie apocalypse.” I laughed and said, “No son. It is not.”
Bravely, we moved through the hoard, claimed our choppers and met Jade and the girl at the exit. Arm and arm we left, went home and had discovered the kids fast asleep by the time we pulled into the driveway. If there was ever a sign of a great day, carrying kids to bed must be of the neon-flashing variety.
Aussiexile had the most brilliant suggestion for our contest to give away the scrap-booking software from Mymemories.com. The suggestion is to create a scrap-book page of Kidder and me using only publicly available information. So there it is! Email me a pdf of what you create at email@example.com
Contest contestants must submit by October 10th, 2011. The winner will be selected and given their prize on October 27th, 2011.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Daily Squib: Semen Proven to Increase Life Expectancy Semen Proven to Increase Life Expectancy ================================================================================ Eileen Dover on 12/05/2007 07:37:00
WASHINGTON DC - USA - Women who make regular contact with semen live longer and age less than women who do not, scientists have discovered.
The finding that women who swallow semen and do not use condoms during vaginal sex, live longer and have reduced signs of ageing, has led one researcher to conclude that semen is a miracle potion that should be treasured by every woman. Male sperm contains vital chemicals that slow down the ageing process and increases life expectancy by up to 35%.
Study author Clifford J. Ponsonby, Ph.D, a psychologist at the State University of Washington in Saint Louis, also found that women who routinely had intercourse without condoms or had facials had better skin quality and wrinkled less plus also had the ability to ingest fatty foods without putting on weight.
Ponsonby's survey of 753 college women and eastern European prostitute's over a 45 year period, also found that those who ingested semen regularly either orally or through vaginal intercourse had a better over all quality of life and would be wealthier in jobs/life.
"These women have a remarkable ability to achieve serious longevity without showing any signs of ageing, this is the key to life," says Ponsonby.
Semen contains powerful hormones including testosterone, oestrogen, prolactin, luteinizing hormone and prostaglandins. Once these chemicals are absorbed through the vaginal walls they inhibit weight gain and slow down the ageing process. Women who ingested semen orally were also found to increase their ability to succeed in jobs and wealth as well as brain power and have beautiful ageless glowing skin. Ponsonby controlled for variables including method of semen extraction, frequency of sexual intercourse, as well as the women's perception of their relationship."If you are a woman and wish to increase your life expectancy and overall health plus reduce any signs of ageing you must utilize the magical properties of semen," the groundbreaking study concludes. Ponsonby says he has seriously enjoyed working with all his female subjects in the study and would like to replicate the study but this time with 5000 women.The longer that women went without ingesting semen the more accelerated the ageing process was found to be. Furthermore, there was an immense risk of obesity and heart disease by abstaining from semen as well as increased depression.Ponsonby's study, which he deems "the first serious attempt to investigate the effect of semen chemistry on women," has underlined his fascinating findings in the research treatise Why Women Need More Semen .
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Many of you following this blog, know a little bit about me, but you also know that there are not many identifying personal details that I share. One of my favorite hobbies is scrap-booking. I love browsing the scrap-booking stores, I love taking pictures, and I LOVE my two scrap-booking weekends with friends that I get to take each year.
One of the first contacts I received after we set up this blog was from MyMemories.Com. They offered me their digital scrap-booking software for free, along with a copy to give away to a contest winner. Now, I have never been a big fan of digital scrap-booking. It often looks great, but some of the things I love about this hobby are browsing the stores for paper, embellishments, etc., spending weekends out of town with my girlfriends gossiping while we work on our albums, and getting my hands dirty with glue, markers, glitter, and sticker residue. But I also love reading the magazines filled with layout ideas, tips, and techniques. Reading these magazines, I have found several digital layouts that I would love to use as inspiration. The problem is, I have absolutely no idea how to use Adobe Photoshop or Adobe Illustrator, which is what many of the layouts in the magazines are using.
I have accepted the free download from MyMemories.Com in the hopes that I could at least simulate some of the digital layouts that have impressed me. I downloaded it a couple of days ago and have begun playing around with it. So far it seems to be easy to use and it has several options within the initial software package. Browsing their website, I found A LOT of add-ons of digital papers and digital embellishments that I am already coveting. They have requested that I do a review of the software within two weeks. I am a technology idiot, so I don’t know that I can promise that I will be ready to give a fair review in that time frame, but I am interested in further exploring this software.
Right now, I am hoping for a little input on what I should do for a contest to award this software to someone reading this blog. Certainly, if you are familiar with this software, I will take any tips/tricks/hints to increase the speed of my learning curve. In the mean time, I will continue playing with it. One thing they have asked me to do is to post some of the pages I create with it. Most of my pictures are of my children, and I am just not willing to share those in this type of public forum, so I have to work on creating pages with photos I love that don’t include the people I love. I will keep working on that while I anxiously await some ideas from someone who knows more than I do!
That said, I am glad to hear you're having a positive experience with therapy, and I truly hope it helps!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Well, we had our second visit with the therapist this week. We got to tell her that we employed a couple of strategies that she mentioned to us in our first appointment. But I have to admit, that was all Kidder. He was the one who pulled out her little tricks and sidetracked what was most definitely bound to become an argument.
Our visit this time was definitely different. Since we spent the first one explaining what brought us to therapy, she was ready to help us dig in and start making some progress this time. She had her white board out and a purple marker and started out by asking Kidder some questions about his perceptions about different things about me. The trick was that she was going to give me a chance to respond, but not about the things I disagreed with. Rather, she wanted me to respond to things he said that resonated with me. When she first said this, I have to admit I was a bit annoyed. I mean, who doesn’t want the chance to defend themselves if someone is saying something about you that you completely disagree with. But because I am always a good student and do my best to please my teacher (yes, I realize my job is not to impress my therapist, but old habits are hard to break) I made a strong effort to listen carefully as Kidder answered her first question. After just a few seconds of him speaking, I found that it wasn’t so hard to let go of my innate need to stand up for myself, and really hear what he was saying that I know is true about me. As we went on in the session, we filled up her board with lots of words written in purple and talked about several things that at first didn’t seem to be pertinent to the place we have found ourselves in. But one of the things that we are trying to do is to break out of old habits that have served to keep us trapped in a round and round argument, both of us feeling we are right, both of us wanting to make sure we are heard. The problem is that we have gone through something hard and that has put the deep focus on where we differ and we have not been able to break that cycle that is causing us pain. What we did yesterday was a first step on the path to becoming aware of how we “work” as individuals, so we can communicate more effectively together.
I went into that session feeling neutral, I wasn’t looking forward to it, nor was I dreading it. I left that session feeling pretty calm and most definitely hopeful. It is as if I have a new small bit of insight into what I am doing wrong that contributes to that unfortunate circle. I feel like if I pay attention, I can avoid some of those initial steps that I take that add to our argument. It isn’t much, and it doesn’t mean that I won’t have to walk away from a discussion saying, I can’t talk about this now. But it is only our second session, so if I have to say this week, “I can’t talk about this now,” we might not both feel great about things, but we won’t make things worse. Besides, next week we might discover the clue that gives us a little more insight into how to break these habits. I have to say, I am really looking forward to it.