I just left the gang in the studio after recording my last episode of the Sex is Fun Show. The show is as old as my daughter and the last six years have truly flown by. My contribution to the show has rarely felt like a job. To me it was hanging out with really smart friends that I trust completely, talking about something that I really enjoy talking about, and frequently getting the distinct impression that our efforts were helpful to people.
I really look forward to hearing/seeing what Gay Rick and Laura Rad do now that they have complete control of the show. I suspect that I'll be their biggest fan, and in all fairness, perhaps their loudest critic, but I am completely confident that they'll do right by the audience and by the mission that created the show in the first place.
I could so very easily walk away from all of this at this time of my life. I could kick back and take it easy, be a selfish hedonist and hang my gun on the wall. I cannot deny that there is a part of me that finds a newly discovered serenity in walking away from Kidder Kaper, and to be honest the major reason that I'm not, is Jade.
When I began this whole sex educator, podcast, activist-thing, it was something that made Jade uncomfortable, embarrassed, and was the source of many relationship conflicts for us. The only thing that carried me through in the early stages of my career was the letters from my readers and listeners that shared with me their personal stories and how my efforts had helped them have better sex, relationships and indeed many who claimed I'd saved their marriages. It was impossible for Jade to truly condemn me for doing what I was driven to do. Helping people is something that we both value.
Then something changed around the time when I signed the book deal with Penguin. The show had gained significant listenership and my press mentions were always memorable to say the least. Jade had fans of her own and got a taste of fame and I kinda think she liked it. I also started making money from the sexisfun.net operation around that time, but for me, money was never my motivating factor. I think that to Jade, money just meant that my efforts were legitimized. She stopped referring to my SiF gig as a, "hobby." This was a term she used that I found exceptionally hurtful, as to me, it was nothing short of a mission that I passionately perused.
When I felt as though I'd accomplished what I needed to accomplish, I began considering my retirement. I'd imagined all the significant ways in which to kill the monster that Kidder had become but Jade wouldn't have it. She liked the props that came with being in the Kaper entourage and even said, "If Kidder dies, what happens to me?" To which I would respond, "You mean Jade?" Yes, it is strange how the alias becomes the person and vice versa. For me, Kidder was a name under which I projected my ideas, but for my wife, Jade gave her the freedom to become the strong sexually powerful woman that she is.
So here we are. We are Jade and Kidder, the Kapers, if you will, with her help, I realize that there is still significant and important work to do. Jade wants to continue recording the Bathtalk show and I think that the show has potential to be great. Of course it will only be great if we care enough to supply the audience with what they want and need. If it is important to the both of us there is a lot we could accomplish. Only time will tell if it is. We've also decided to begin blogging together and she's committed to two contributions per month. Again, only time will tell if this is a commitment that she's capable of fulfilling over the long haul. I for one am very excited to see what she has to say and encourage everyone to encourage her to find her inner-writer, storyteller, and advisor that I know she can be.
So I'll match whatever she submits, story for story and this is my first blog entry. With it I've taken the maiden head off this blank page and covered it with my own digital ink bukake. For fans that have known us, know that I cannot be censored or to be censored is so demoralizing to me that I will only continue with this shared project if I feel allowed to write what I feel like writing about. There's a reason that all of my published articles are merely optioned re-prints taken from media outlets where I have total editorial control. I'm not good at taking orders and never pretended to be. When you see my name on a document, you certainly can be sure that what you are reading is the truth, as I see it, and that if I write it, it is something that I care, most often, deeply about.
One of the things that I care about is having healthy, fun, exciting, enjoyable, and lasting relationships. I care about raising healthy, emotionally secure, intellectually enabled, ethically enriched children, who become adults capable of finding purpose in their lives. I care about philosophy, and making at least a decent attempt at fixing flawed ideology. I intend to write about all that I care about on this blog, and I indeed hope that we are capable of providing something significant, or if not, perhaps a laugh. We've got recipes, crafty crap that scrapbookers will dig, activities for making time spent with offspring a little more enjoyable, sex advice, stories and just about everything that we think is kinda cool. It will be a learning experience and the discovery should be interesting, or at least entertaining.
With hopes for your reading, comments, and enjoyment, this is the first post in the Jade and Kidder blog.
Kidder & Jade have been married for 14 years, have two kids, a dog, and take pride in figuring it out as they go. Hear there adventures, misadventures, and get everything from craft ideas to sex advice by subscribing to their weekly blog, podcast, and other antics at www.bathtalkweekly.com
Kidder Kaper is a published author, sex educator, activist and game designer. The overwhelming catalog of his work can be found at http://www.sexisfun.net
Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org