Thursday, December 22, 2011

Is is Lube or is it Semen? - STR8CAM Lube Review

Slippery when wet!
Str8Cam lube is the like semen in a bottle

And yes, this is the first publicly 
released photo of Kidder's cock!
If you use lube and think semen is the best lube ever, then Str8cam is for you. This hybrid silicon/water-based lube is simply amazing. It looks and feels just like freshly ejaculated spunk. It is very slippery and stays wet like silicon-based lubricant but feels more like a gel-based lube. In most every possibly way it feels and behaves just like semen. It has no flavor which sounds good at first until you go down expecting a tasty creampie but instead lick up a nothing-flavored goo. 
Str8cam is condom safe and feels wonderful for everything from vaginal intercourse, to anal play and even hand-jobs. Squirt some on your vulva and you’ll you’ll look and feel like you’ve been the target of an over excited lover’s premature carpet-bombing. Squirt some inside and both you and your parter will both swear that you are partaking in a sloppy-seconds session. Use it with a toy be amazed by the realism this lube can bring to a masturbation session.
STR8cam Lube comes in a convenient 2 oz travel size for $5, an 8 oz bedside pump bottle for $14.50, and even a $70 half gallon and $100 full gallon bottle for all of you who’ve got to pull off the ultimate bukkake fantasy. Don’t let the cheesy packaging fool you, this lube is amazing!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Living the Busy Lifestyle

Hello Folks,

I've gotten gosh-darn busy lately. So many things are happening in my life right now and everything has something to do with Steve Jobs. Right! It is as strange to me as it sounds to you. I didn't even realize it myself until Jade pointed it out to me. So imagine this and follow along if possible.

In the same year Steve Jobs got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, so did my father. They both got the same surgery and in both cases it spread to their respective livers. Steve got a new liver, my father did not and died shortly there after. I didn't emote much when he died but I spent a lot of time getting to know him before he left. I was really busy with my life at the time so I'm quite surprised (and thankful) that I could make the time to spend with him as he was dying. Jade was pregnant with our daughter and I had just joined the board of the company that would eventually become the parent of everything that would ever produce.

Both of these men changed the world in their respective fields. Steve's products were a lot sexier and well known, but I assure you, if you needed one of by dad's inventions, you'd appreciate it a lot more than your iPhone, iPad, and even your Macbook Pro. They were also notorious for being absolute assholes. This seems a personality trait that is nearly impossible to avoid by anyone who obsessively pursues excellence in all that they create. I was well on my way to earning that title myself in nearly half-a-dosen industries myself. Nobody calls us into a project because they need someone who's easy to work with or because we're joyful beams of sunshine in the office. We're only called in when something needs to be created and only excellence will do. We get things done even when what needs to get done is something that is impossible to do.

When Steve had finally succumb to his own DNA writing bad copies of the source code, it upset me a lot more than I would have ever expected it to bother me. Surrounded by my wife and closest friends, it was Jade who first said, "This isn't about Steve. This is about your Dad." I think it was me who first said, "What's the difference?"The similarities between my father and Steve, both in life and death weren't the end of the "everything has something to do with Steve Jobs," statement that began this post.

Shortly thereafter I began reading Steve's biography. It is one of the most inspiring roller coaster rides I've ever consumed and plan on posting my review of it soon. At the very same time I was getting to the part of the book where Steve returned to save Apple like the parodical son, I was also returning to save a company that I started back in '94, led to overwhelming success, and subsequently left to the to pursue other interests. They did well without me for a while, but just like Apple, the company lost its way, its edge, and all that had made it provide excellence in all that it did. It is attrition, and it is natural for all things that don't get influence from driving forces to keep attrition from happening.

 Just last week I presented the company with the most epic Keynote presentation of my career, 111 slides that explained my promise to bring greatness, prosperity, and excellence back to the company. While my presentation was met with a thunder of applause, I wonder if that clapping will continue when they realize just what it will take to achieve what they've asked me to do. Nothing great is ever easy, and even though many of my slides made that point perfectly clear, saying it is one thing, and doing it is clearly another. They may appreciate what my return means to the bottom-line, they won't like the means that are necessary to get us there.

I miss this blog and I want to contribute more, but I'm so busy that the only way I'm ever going to get time to contribute is to hammer out something, as I am now at 1:19 AM on Monday morning. I hope it isn't complete shite as I'm too exhausted to even proof-read it.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Getting more done with Dictation: a Review of Dragon Dictate for Macintosh

I became extremely busy lately. Even though I have reclaimed time spent recording the “Sex is Fun Show,” life as an interesting way of re-tasking idle moments. Jade and I have to run our children to various clubs and sporting events 6 days per week and work, it seems, has become a relentlessly demanding beast. But because we have created a relationship with those that have read my book, my articles, and listened to our podcasts, this blog has become very important to me and Jade and I want to continue contributing to it.
I am an exceptionally fast typist and have been since I was very young. It was in about the 3rd grade where I realized I was a touch typing and no longer needed to use my eyes to search for keys. By the time I took a typing class in the 5th grade, my speed and accuracy exceeded every other student in the classroom. Now I type at nearly the speed of thought, and though that may have something to do with the vast degree of typos in my average article submission, my speed has kept me from using dictation software or dictating for a human transcriber. But, I have an hour each day where I'm alone with my thoughts and as long as I keep my hands on the wheel and my eyes on the road, I can use this time to contribute to the blog without stealing time from my family, my career, my friends, or making sweet-sweet love to Jade.
So I got myself a copy of Dragon Dictate software and I installed it on my MacBook Pro. The installation process was relatively straightforward. Of course don’t believe in reading manuals and l most things I install on my computer I expect to be performed using nothing but intuition. Therefore, my only setback was that I did not realize there were 2 DVDs in the box and instead of beginning with the installation disk,I was attempting to install off the libraries disk which it asks for later in the installation process. The headset is relatively comfortable and plugs in via 2 mini connectors through a USB dongle. I believe that you can use any microphone and headphone as long as it is plugged through this dongle, though I have not felt the need to attempt trying a different headset.
Once fully installed, the program guides you through a training mode where it learns to understand your dialect, accent, and nuances of your voice. This is done by reading text that appears on the screen and highlights as you read each word. I did like that the text was essentially a user guide to Dragon software as it taught me quite a bit about voice recognition technology. I certainly preferred that to being forced to read some unrelated story as though I was going to be taking a reading comprehension test afterward. Just as I was getting into the guts of the manual, the program stopped and told me that it listened enough and could accurately turn my words into text. So I popped open my mail application and sent out a few instructions to my underlings and minions.
I had very low expectations as my current experience with voice recognition is often telling my phone to, “find the nearest gas station.” and instead it would map the closest store that sold, “Playstations.” Why would anyone need that kind of information in the first place? But the program works quite flawlessly with a surprising degree of accuracy. It does allow you to speak quite naturally except for punctuation and various proper nouns. It works in every application that I've attempted to use it in and this includes nearly every application I own that accepts text entry. The only thing I found tricky is that I have to consciously think about where I would like pauses and commas to be placed, whereas ending sentences with the appropriate punctuation is something I already got used to from medical dictation.
How well does it work? You tell me...
This is the ultimate test. I am now halfway to work and I'm using the microphone in the car for the 1st time. My laptop is sitting in the passenger seat and I have dimmed the screen to full darkness so that I'm not tempted to allow my eyes to stray off the road. When I get into the office I will post whatever the software has decided to write, with the only editorial exception of capitalizing Jade’s name which it never seems to realize is a name.
Reich Kidder and tell him your thoughts on anything he writes at cape-her
Dragon Dictate Photo
Company: Nuance
Product: Dragon Dictate 2.0 Mac.
Price: $199
Best Price on Amazon: $142.76
Product Score: [4.5]-:-[5]
What could they have done to get [5]-:-[5]?
Make the software understand punctuation based on sentences structure, natural pauses, emphasis and pitch so that I feel more like I’m having a conversation than dictating. Be better at realize the difference between proper nouns and nouns.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Contest Winner!

We have a winner! Thanks to Andie for her submission to our contest for the My Memories Digital Scrapbooking Software! She completed the mission and created a page for The Kapers made with content found on the internet. I think my favorite element has to be the bra flower holder. It reflects my love of gardening as well as my love of sexy under garments!

I have continued to play around with this software myself a bit and am discovering new ways of using it that sort of mesh with the more traditional scrap booking techniques. I have also noticed that offers regular free downloads and has five pages of free kits, embellishment packs, or digitial paper packs. Another thing I learned about this software is that the downloadable elements they sell as add-ons to the original my memories suite also work with photoshop and other digital photo editing programs. This site is quite versatile!

Thanks to everyone who expressed interest in the contest. I am certain I will have more to say about this software in the future. In the meantime, I hope Andie enjoys her prize. Anything she sends me that she wants to share will be posted here. As I continue to practice and get past my technology short-comings, I will post a few more pages too!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

The Tooth Fairy

I think I might be the worst tooth fairy ever! This task was added to my “mom” job description about 6 years ago, and I have to say, I have had a hard time implementing those duties into my daily activities since that time. My oldest has “lost” all but two of his teeth after they fell out. The first one he swallowed, the next few fell out at school and even though he was sent home with something his teacher adorably named “the tooth taxi,” the taxi never actually arrived. By the time he actually had one to stick under his pillow, he didn’t even believe in the tooth fairy anymore. Each time he lost a tooth and then “lost” the tooth, he panicked that the tooth fairy would not come. Each time I helped him craft a letter to the tooth fair explaining what had happened, tucked him in to bed assuring him she would indeed still come, and then with the best of intentions I gathered 8 shiny quarters and waited for him to fall asleep. The first time, he would not fall asleep. I swear I was sitting on the couch considering using toothpicks in my eyes to keep them open so the tooth fairy could come and the morning would be happy and exciting. When he finally fell asleep, I was exhausted, but still awake, and managed to shove his quarters under his pillow. I completely forgot to take his note. In the morning, because he is a very bright child, he questioned the fact that there was money under his pillow, but the note he left was still there. I suggested to him that the tooth fairy new I liked to scrap-book so maybe she left the note for me. That worked. Once.

The next several times he lost a tooth, I again helped him craft his note. However, that boy does not fall asleep easily. I, on the other hand, fall asleep as soon as I sit down to watch something. In the morning, the boy would come in and wake me up (at least an hour before anyone in the house needed to be up) and insist that the tooth fairy had not come. In a panic, because I knew he was right and I was cheating him of part of the magic of childhood, I would fly out of bed and tell him he must not have looked hard enough. I would tell him to wait in my room while I made a quick excuse to keep him there for 45 seconds so I could run down to the laundry room, grab 8 shiny quarters and make sure they were well hidden in my hand. Then I would come back and get him and tell him we would go look together. We would go into his room and I would slide my fist filled with quarters under his pillow and explain to him that I was feeling around for whatever the tooth fairy might have left him. I would then drop the quarters and lift up his pillow and make the poor child believe he had just not noticed that the tooth fairy had indeed paid him a visit. Of course, because he never actually had a tooth to leave under the pillow his note would still be there and I would again explain, very excitedly, that the tooth fairy wanted me to scrap book his note. Seriously, how terrible am I at this job that in order to keep him “believing” I had to convince him he just didn’t look hard enough.

Yesterday, my daughter lost her first tooth. She didn’t swallow it, but it fell out in the car and I was sure we weren’t going to find it, so again I would be helping one of my children write a letter explaining how they misplaced their lost tooth. Luckily, we found it and when we got home we put it in a plastic bag for safe keeping. She carried it around all day and showed it to everyone we encountered, but it was still safe and made it under her pillow at bed time. In the meantime, my son also lost a tooth. His second one of the week as a matter of fact, and he pointed out to all of us as my daughter was explaining her hopes and dreams of a tooth fairy visit, that the tooth fairy had not shown up for him just three days earlier. Again, I point out that I AM THE WORST TOOTH FAIRY EVER!!!! Of course, it had been a LONG day (and a late night the night before) so it took everything I had to stay awake after I tucked both of them in so they would not be disappointed. Thankfully, it was a Saturday night, so I had three other adults to help keep me awake long enough for the tooth fairy to do her frakking job!

After I tucked the little people in, I went to my laundry jar and thanked Kidder Kaper (in my mind) for leaving quarters in his pockets when he takes off his pants. I gathered 16 shiny quarters and waited for them to fall asleep. I got my last bit of proof at how crappy I am at this part of my job when my daughter sat up after I shoved her quarters under her pillow. I quickly ducked down next to her bed and waited for her to lay back down. Ten minutes later, I was able to crawl out of her room, and feel like a perfectly adequate parent, that I had not yet ruined the magic of childhood for one of my children. Yet I cannot help but feel that she has several teeth left to lose, so I have plenty of time to fail miserably.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Hurt Feelings

Something has been bothering me. It has been bothering me a lot, yet I can’t figure out why. There is a part of me that feels like I am being petty, a part of me that feels like I am being mean, and still a part of me that feels like I am having a completely reasonable reaction to the way I perceive I am being treated.

Here is how things work in our family. All four of us like to have people over. On an average Friday night, as dinner is being prepared, my children ask “Are Lorax and FKS coming over?” On a holiday weekend in the summer they wonder, who has been invited for the weekend with their children to hang out by the bonfire and where do we get to put our sleeping bags? Over Christmas break, we all look forward to the traditions of gatherings almost every night of the break to fit in celebrations with family, the tree trimming party, exchanging presents with friends, and several other get togethers we find reasons to hold at The Kaper Kompound. To be honest, it is absolutely our preference to entertain our friends and family at our house. Most of our friends know this about us and it works for them as well as it works for us.

Our close friends, many of whom spend most of their free time at our house because they know that is our preference, occasionally plan things out and about. When they do, they always invite us. They give us plenty of notice so, if necessary, we can arrange for a sitter. If a sitter isn’t necessary, they give us plenty of notice so we can tell them what dates work for us considering we are working around four schedules instead of one or two and they want to include our children. We completely appreciate that, and that consideration they give us leads to really fun times.

We are so lucky to have a close circle of friends who share our interests, our open mindedness, and our passion for living a life less ordinary. We are also lucky enough to be relatively personable, so we can meet people easily. As we spend time with them, we can quickly determine if there is potential for a close friendship or if there is nothing more than acquaintance potential. Once we make this determination, we enjoy integrating our new friendships with our existing friendships and this has led to an amazing spiderweb of friends that mix REALLY well for both a family friendly scavenger hunt for home-made treasures in the woods as well as fun times in the hot tub on nights when the kids are spending the evening with grandma and grandpa.

So this brings me to the heart of my problem. In our circle, we are often the common denominator that unites people with others they might not have met. This is a good thing! Friendship is a treasure and if we can be the catalyst that starts an amazing friendship, that makes us feel great! I could list many examples of friendships that we can ultimately claim we started by making the initial introduction. The benefit we gain from this is we are often included in these friendships in some way. One way is the new chemistry that they bring to a party we have after these new friendships have developed. They have a different kind of confidence that is notable and benefits our gatherings. Another way is that they return the favor and introduce us to new experiences we may not have had without meeting them. These are things that we LOVE! However, I have noticed a couple of negatives, and I can’t quite put my finger on why or how they make me feel bad.

I don’t think either Kidder or I have any problem with the friendship that is developed outside of us. What I have realized bothers me is when some friends make strong efforts to further develop friendships with our friends and then exclude us repeatedly. I start to feel excluded when “my” friend invites “my other friends” who I introduced them to out for the evening, yet they never invite me. I feel excluded when “my” friends invite “my other friends” to a party they are having and they don’t invite me. I feel excluded when “my other friends” invite “my” friends to an evening out and they decline until they find out more of “my other friends” are going to be there, and then they accept the invitation.

I have felt these kind of exclusions lately and they make me feel bad. They hurt my feelings and they make me wonder if these “friends” are really my friends at all. It leads me to think that to some people, I am only useful for the parties I can offer them. They are always ready to say yes when I am sending out an invitation to our party, and even become upset if they discover we’re having a party and they weren’t invited (as is often the case even with the best of intentions in the generation of Facebook). Sometimes it seems that other than getting invited to our party they don’t even consider us. While we almost always prefer to host the gathering (because it is easier for us considering the kids, the dog, and the extra space we have) I want to be invited to the fun things “my friends” are planning, at least once in a while. I don’t like to know that “my friends” go out of their way to include “my other friends” that I introduced them to, in their fun plans, but never bother to send me an invitation. Like I said, it hurts my feelings.

This has been on my mind extensively for at least the last week. I have tried to let it go, but each time I sit down to try to write a post for this blog, the only thing on my mind is this topic. I am not a fan of creating controversy, and this post feels like it is going to do just that. Because I can’t seem to let it go, I have decided it is just time to put it out there. I would love any input anyone has on this topic. Am I being petty? Am I being mean? Am I being naive in continuing to try to maintain a friendship with someone who isn’t putting any effort into maintaining a friendship with me? What do you think? Do you have any advice for me? How would you handle this situation? I can’t wait to hear....

Monday, October 3, 2011

Sex is Fun Podcast: SiF #300 - Why Sex is Fun

Sex is Fun even without Kidder Kaper! Godspeed to the Sex is Fun Podcast!!!

Sex is Fun Podcast: SiF #300 - Why Sex is Fun: As Laura Rad and Gay Rick take over as hosts, they discuss with Coochie what the name “Sex is Fun!” means to them. The gang talks about some of the limits of the name and why being sex-positive is important. Is the gang about to get too nerdy and alienate folks? They wrap things up by talking about goals for the show moving forward.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Brain Tuning and a bunch of other stuff you didn't know about Kidder Kaper

After suffering from writers block for nearly two weeks with deadlines lurking in the shadows I fell back on all the old tricks I’ve used in the past to knock down this wall that tied my fingers in knots whenever I attempted to key a meaningful paragraph. I eliminated distractions, including my Facebook account which is still currently offline. I wrote about having writers block (as we speak) and I meditated, visualizing the concepts I wished to translate into words. With little resulting script for my efforts, I opened the old wooden box that I keep in my closet on the same shelf that stores my Browning left-handed pump shotgun. 
Inside this box are a few interesting trinkets that have rarely been seen since my college days. After shuffling through a few old floppy diskettes with contents that I doubt I’ll ever go to the trouble to rediscover, I found a few tools that I used to expand my mind during one particularly challenging semester toward the end of my sophomore year. 
After nearly two years of taking as many lab sciences and psycho-sexual classes as my advisors would allow an undergrad, I decided to change my direction completely and declared business as my new major. Unfortunately, to secure my acceptance into the Carlson School of Management by the end of my junior year, I needed to burn the midnight oil and stack my workload with an enormous amount of prerequisites in a very short amount of time. 
So I signed up for Macroeconomics, Mircoeconomics, Industrial Decision Making Sciences, Business Calculus, and Accounting. Normally it is frowned upon to take so many math-related classes at the same time or and it is never acceptable to take both Economics classes at the same time. A little trick I learned about large universities like the one I attended is that advisors only stamp the first page of a class roster. There is literally NOTHING stopping a student from attaching as many additional class codes to the pages behind it and handing that over to one of the many data entry drones that mindlessly coded your information into the Gopher Usenet Terminal. 
I knew that I was going to need to plan the next three months around packing my brain with an excessive amount of information and understanding it very well. I’d made the dean’s list every quarter and I knew I’d never get accepted to the next level if didn’t keep my B+ average. So I prepped for the quarter by learning about learning. I researched everything I could find about the fastest and most effective ways to process information. 
I learned about Theta Meditation which allows the mind to enter a trancelike state that gives the conscious mind a break while allowing your memory to organize and store all that you’ve just read. The idea is to take some control over your brain waves and achieve a theta rhythm, a state of consciousness that feels a bit like daydreaming. Because I am a rather impatient person and because I’m not all spiritual and most of the information written about meditation are from a spirituality basis, I had to find another way to gain this form of control. I decided to cheat with technology.

Bring on the Brain Machine
Lucky for me there was a commercially available product known as a brainwave synchronization device.  It was essentially a little electronic gadget, about the size of a  Walkman, and it produced binaural beats that played through headphones and flashing lights that you wore over your eyes. With your eyes closed light is quite spectacular through your eyelids. The idea is that you could tell the machine what brainwave state you wish to be in and it would play the appropriate rhythm and flashing lights and your brain would become synchronized with that rhythm. So after reading a book or returning from a seminar, I simply turn the machine on and set it for theta mode. Within minutes, The binaural rhythm in my ears, and the pulsating lights on my eyelids ramped me down to a deep theta hypnotic state. 
I had also programed the device to wake me back up, by synchronizing my brain waves to a predominance of beta waves, restoring me to a fully awake and refreshed state of mind. The result gave me what a 15 minute nap, consisting of some alpha activity but largely dominated by a theta signature. The greatest bonus was that the device kept me from falling into a deeper sleep cycle, delta, which is not helpful when time is of the essence and mental acuity is the primary goal. Allowing yourself to drift off into deeper sleep states without the appropriate time to dedicate to a deep restful sleep does more harm than good, especially when your next class is in a few minutes.
These devices are commercially available and can be purchased with significantly more features and options than back when I was a measly college kid. A decent device is going to run you anywhere from $250-$270. The somewhat nicer devices include what is known as CES, or cranial-electro stimulation. Along with the headphones and the goggles, CES  devices also include the electrodes that provide a mild electric pulse that supposedly increases the device’s ability to synchronize brain waves to the desired state of consciousness. To move up to one of these models expect to shell out between $500 and $600 and know that because I have not yet tried them myself I cannot give them the Kidder stamp of approval.
Frankly, by now I had expected that these devices to be significantly less expensive and be operated from your home computer or even your iPhone. The technologies that drive sees machines is not significant and I assure you that the microprocessors inside are nothing compared to what is already in my iPhone. Someone really needs to get out there and make an application that can drive a light and sound processor to do all this stuff for you directly from your mobile device. I had also expected a significant increase in the capability of these machines. The one problem that some people run into using these is that they don’t understand where your brain waves are, they only run a predetermined program. So if something interrupts you or distracts you in the process it may be attempting to sink you to something that your brain is not responding to and with this simple list of biofeedback devices it would be very easy to monitor brainwave activity so that the computer could make decisions as to how to best synchronize your specific brain activity. With just a few minutes of online research I have discovered that there are units that have been designed to do specifically this, but they are  very expensive and most require an operator to control the device.

I have owned several models though the one that is simplest use and currently commercially available at a reasonable price is the Proteus Light and Sound Machine by Mindplace. For $169 at Amazon you too can discover the amazing world of mind expansion through Psycho-Walkman, and if you buy this model, allow me to suggest placing it in Energized Mode and engage in a little self pleasure. Wow!
Word of caution! Due to the blinking lights people with epilepsy or any form of seizure disorder should not even attempt to be in the same room as one of these while they’re in use.
 Bring on the Smart Drugs:
  I had already been prescribed dextroamphetamine to treat my struggle with concentration deficit and by this time I’d had a few years of experience with the drug to maximize its use specifically for paying attention in class and maintaining attention while reading.  Dexedrine, as it is most  commonly known, is a pharmaceutical grade, time released  amphetamine. It was greatly abused in the 50s, 60s, and 70s, and prescribed for everything from narcolepsy to an extremely potent diet drug. In normal brain chemistry it causes most people to talk very quickly, ceaselessly, and about nothing of any consequence whatsoever. Users often think they’re writing incredibly intelligent and well thought papers, but in the morning often find that they have no idea what the hell they were talking about while they were writing.
In contrast, someone suffering from a attention deficit disorder will achieve a laser-guided ability to concentrate and be interested in nearly any topic presented to them. On Dexedrine, everything is interesting, and for me, it gave the ability to finally understand what all the other kids were getting from class time while my imagination was off solving the world’s problems that had little to do with the course work at hand. Also, it seems as though people with attention deficit disorder are strangely unaffected by the addictive properties that are commonly associated to such a powerful amphetamine. The only withdrawal symptom I’ve ever noticed is that reading and paying attention require significantly more energy and effort when I stopped using the drug, much like what it felt like before I began taking it in the first place.
The strange thing about ADD, is that it is not something that you can will yourself to not have. No matter how hard I tried to force myself to pay attention in class I was completely unaware of my mind wondering, oftentimes only awaking to the voice of an angry teacher telling me once again that I was not paying attention. I find myself wondering what my true potential could have been if I had been diagnosed and treated well before my 1st grade teacher could have destroyed my confidence in my ability to learn.  Unfortunately I would not realize that was a smart kid trapped inside the brain of a dumb kid until my junior year of high school, and at that point education had become a race, and my desire to make up for lost time was overwhelming. By the time I was in college this race had become a marathon, and this semester was to be my decathlon and the ultimate test of my mental agility. 
Above and beyond treating my ADD, I had also grown very interested in a new class of non-approved pharmaceuticals called “smart drugs.” What I mean by “non-approved” is that even though the FDA had determined that these drugs were safe, they had not yet determined whether or not these drugs were actually effective for the purpose in which they were created. This means that while they are not available for sale with in the US it is legal to acquire them from foreign countries in small quantities.
One particular category of smart drugs caught my attention due to the significance of the published studies and the extremely low occurrence of side effects or toxicity. Known as Piracetam and sold under many brand names, this nootropic drug was showing significant results in him proved brain function, chemistry and even the speed of neuron transmission and the health of of myelin sheathing. Even though many of you reading this, especially those who work in traditional medicine and pharmacology have just become convinced that Kidder has gone over to the side of, “woo-woo,”  the true science of this drug is very difficult to dispute.
Carrying out the experiment with myself, I acquired the largest legal quantity possible from a lab in the United Kingdom, and initiated a ritual of 400mg 3 times per day. The 1st effect that I recall experiencing was a strange intuitiveness that had not existed prior. I began noticing connections between topics that previously seemed unrelated. According to what I have learned about mental processing, this may be largely to do with the fact that Piracetam is known to increase neuronal activity and communication via the corpus callosum (the bridge between the left and right hemisphere of the brain). Sometimes it actually felt as though I would see a problem on paper and I could feel a conversation happening between the 2 very different ways that the left and the right side of my brain processed information.
My memory did improve and the speed at which I was capable of interpreting and understanding information did maximize. My dreams also became extremely logical and problems that often plague me in dream state had become manageable. It was as if the benefits of each part of my mind were finally able to work in conjunction with each other without fighting for preference. Unless you fully understand brain function I doubt you’ll be able to understand exactly what it is I’m talking about. If you’re truly interested I highly suggest that you read some of the studies that have been done on patients with corpus callostomy who have physically split brains. These experiments will truly freak you out when you realize how differently the 2 halves of your brain understand the world. They truly are to different consciousnesses and they only speak over the narrowest neural network and only when they must.
Change in Lifestyle:
The most challenging part of this workload was time management. I was averaging 10 hours a day in lecture and labs and when combined with enormous requirement of time spent studying, this dramatically changed my social life, as well as my sleep schedule. To keep my mind from turning into tapioca within the 1st month I was sure to schedule a reasonable amount of time socializing with other human beings. Whether or not I had time, I always forced myself to eat dinner in the dining hall with my friends. I secured a close friendship with everyone who worked in the dining hall so that I was able to forgo lines and reduce all unnecessary minutes waiting for anything that wasn’t specifically beneficial both socially and nutritionally.
I had also worked out a deal with a close friend who was quite happy to entertain all of my sexual whims without the need for much in the way of romantic involvement or time spent dating. I know it sounds crazy but in much the way that an artist has a muse, I had a very generous friend who was up for fulfilling my my needs without asking for much in return. I don’t know that I would have remained mentally healthy without her help and willingness to be there for me when I needed her and to give me absolute space and silence when I needed to resume my studies.
All of my exercise was limited to rollerblading to and from class. I had already learned that rollerblading was significantly faster than waiting for and riding the bus. So this allowed me to kill 3 birds with one stone as it was a form of exercise, entertainment, and it was also the best way to reduce time spent in transit.  But to be honest, my life consisted of class, study, food, sleep, and NSA, pump-and-dump style sex for a solid 3 months.
The end result, for the few of you still reading this, is that I did perform exceptionally well in all the classes I took. After my last final, while all of my friends were partying, I threw myself upon my bed, closed my eyes and slept, the deepest, most deliciously restful sleep I’ve ever experienced before, or since. When I awoke I found myself on an island in the middle of Lake Vermillion, at my best friend’s mother’s honeymoon.  But that is another story, and while it sounds a lot like a hallucination, it is entirely true. 
I believe that with this article I have successfully defeated my writers block and will now check-in on all you fine people who know me on Facebook. There’s a lot more interesting stuff inside that box I found in my closet. Someday soon, I hope to share with you everything from my plans and study carried out involving a sensory deprivation floatation tank, as well as my ultimate guide to lucid dreaming.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Therapy Session #3: The 5:1 Ratio

We had a good week. We're starting to figure out some important key issues that have helped us communicate better and break a few bad habits. For instance when I ask Jade if she knows where I might find clean socks, she hears, "You suck at doing the laundry and you are to blame for everything that doesn't work in our relationship." When she says, "When you ask me to give you intimacy it makes me feel pressured to perform." I hear, "I'm not attracted to you and I don't love you enough to want to kiss you, much less have sex." A simple exercise that is helping us communicate better without getting upset is to say, "What I heard was…" and then to repeat what we heard, giving each other the opportunity to make sure that we're phrasing our requests to each other in a manner that is polite and curious. Neither of us want to fight, especially over something as simple as socks, but when you get into these ruts, sometimes it is tough to stay positive. This exercise may take longer, but I helps us to really hear each other as the people we want to be to each other.
Last week she assigned us some reading to help us further our communication in positive ways. One of the authors, Dr. John Gottman, I'd already known about for years because his work in marital therapy is astoundingly scientific. What this guy did that separated him from all the other self-help marriage therapy gurus is that he actually proved his results with such closely monitored scientific measurements that he is capable of predicting the future outcome of a relationship with shocking accuracy. He and his team invited couples to spend a weekend in a bed and breakfast that was loaded with scientific monitoring devices. Cameras watched for facial microexpressions, respiratory and cardiovascular monitoring gear measured pulse rates and blood pressure, even the toilets were rigged to detect stress hormones in urine. Even though his statistics have been met with some scrutiny, I'm still more likely to give it the old college try than forms of therapy that have absolutely no science to back up the success of the given method.
For the sake of argument, let's call John's conclusions a "theory" and his theory states that there are four emotional reactions that predict the outcome of a marriage and they are criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt.  He calls these the "four horsemen," because they will destroy a happy household faster than a swarm of boils and a rash of locusts. Of course every relationship is going to encounter some moments where one or the other partner is excessively critical, or defensive, or emotionally withdrawn and of course if this happens too often, contempt for each other will eventually set in. John has found that there is actually a variable that determines the happiness of a marriage based on how frequently or infrequently a couple falls victim to one of the four horsemen. Like most other things in life it is easier to destroy than it is to heal and John's variable states that for every one negative and destructive interaction it requires five times as many positive interactions just to reach neutrality. Happy relationships balance this well, relationships where one or both partners report dissatisfaction experience a positive to negative ratio of less than 5:1. Marriages that end in divorce average a ratio of 8:1, negative to positive.
You may notice that when your ratio of positive to negative is 5:1 or higher, you may be capable of handling criticism, like "You never roll the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube!" in a healthy and productive way.  However, when you are suffering a positivity deficit, you're likely to bring on the three other horsemen and the battle begins. Knowing how this happens and the rapid degree of how negative promotes negative, it finally makes sense to me how couples can go from loving, caring partners in life to people who hate each other so much that the pain of separating is little more than the pin prick when compared to the idea of staying together.
According to the math, Jade Kaper and I were at about 120:1 in Desire, but the very day that we returned home, that ratio began falling as Jade's deceptions took effect. In spite of this, my reactions to her remained positive because our investment was greatly stacked in our favor. Unfortunately, with each following deception and decision she made that made me feel secondary to her NRE interest, the ratio plummeted until finally I snapped, roughly around a ratio of 1:1. I remained exceptionally forgiving of her first 23 mistakes, no matter how deceitful, deceptive, selfish or denying they were. Unfortunately, once we hit that 24th mistake I became critical of her behavior and that caused her to become defensive. Remember, each mistake costs you five positives to fix. It is a credit card with a terrible interest rate. I was no longer able to positively respond to her about much of anything and then my negative behavior inverted the ratio into something that feels exactly the opposite of where we were when we were in a tropical paradise. Once the ratio went negative, we spun off into a FUBAR I hope that we never see again. The interesting thing about the ratio is that above 5:1 you can deal with a lot of negative and hurtful behaviors without responding with criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, or contempt. Falling beneath that ratio makes it nearly impossible to encounter even the slightest form of criticism will cause a negative response. 
Now we have to learn how to fix our ratio. I hope to share this with you in the next session. 
Learn more about John Gottman by reading his many books.

Friday, September 23, 2011


Today I had my post-surgical follow up after my Essure procedure, so I thought I would tell you about it while it was still fresh in my mind. Typically, Essure is an in office procedure, but my doctor recommended I have the procedure in the outpatient surgery center. She has been a little skittish about my uterus since I had a seizure during labor with my first child, so I can understand her need to take precautions. Besides, I really had no interest in being “aware” while she was tugging, pushing, and feeding the scope up through my vagina into my tipped uterus on her way to my fallopian tubes.

When I saw her today, she told me that she was very glad she made the decision to put me out while she worked. She explained that the scope does not bend and that she worked up a bit of a sweat moving me around to get the scope up into my fallopian tubes. I can’t say I am sorry I missed that at all. To be perfectly honest, I don’t remember anything after being wheeled in to the surgery room, until they were waking me up telling me I was finished. I believe my completely appropriate comment when that happened was “I don’t feel like anyone was digging around in my private parts!” Comments like that are apparently not quite as amusing to vanilla people as they are to people like me. Oh well...

After the procedure, I hung out in the recovery center for a little while and then was released into the care of my lovely husband to be taken home with instructions to relax for at least a day and not to do any lifting for a few days. I really did not have any discomfort that day or any day after. I didn’t even need to take ibuprofen. The most uncomfortable side effect was the dehydration that plagued me for the weekend, which I assume is related to the medication they used to knock me out. I had a little bit of spotting for a couple of days and that was it. All I have left to do now is a three month post-surgical follow up to confirm the implant is working. I am so glad I had this procedure! I realized as I was driving home that I saw a few pregnant women in the office and the only feeling I had was relief that I will never wear maternity clothes again!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Kaper Rule #6

Kaper Rule #6
Religion is often exploited in an attempt to control female sexuality. 

Monday, September 12, 2011

Kidder pays the fare at the fair

I hate people, ergo, I hate going to the fair. It seems like such an event for joiners and followers, neither of which I am. I'm neither agoraphobic or elitist, in fact I'm quite envious of all the enjoyment that the majority of fair goers seem to receive from going to disgustingly crowded, hot and sticky events, to buy crap that NOBODY needs and to eat things that NOBODY should. Well, this year I promised my wife, who loves the fair, and my kids who love making me do stuff that I'd prefer not do that we'd all go. So I went and promised to have a fantastic attitude all day long, which I accomplished and even caught myself enjoying more than I ever thought I would. So in this article, I'll tell you what I learned about how being a GGG (good, giving/generous, and game) participant makes participating rather fun.

I woke up later than Jade and the kids but was the first one ready and waiting in the car. A good attitudes means you aren't dragging your feet or procrastinating, so I was sure to be moving with a bounce in my step from the first step. After a quick stop in the office, we parked and caught the bus to the Minnesota State Fair Grounds. My son sat next to me asking questions about the rides and foods and toys he'd be allowed today. I whispered in his ear, "If your attitude is great and you are nice to your little sister, there's little I'll say no to today." A giant grin appeared on his face and he immediately began talking to his sister as though he was the best big brother in the world. Jade gave me a wink, letting me know she'd heard that conversation.

We exited the bus and skipped past the scalpers selling "discounted passes" and paid the $46 to get us all inside those rusted gates that stood between us and deep-fried Twinkie's, cheese curds, and mini doughnuts . Deciding we were all hungry we mutually decided we should find the nearest corn-dog stand gather some lipids to prime our systems for the digestive onslaught that awaited us over then next several hours. As easy as you would think that would have been we found that not all stands advertising "THE BEST PRONTO PUPS AT THE FAIR!!!" actually even sell corn dogs. So we stumbled around haphazardly following our noses toward scents that matched what we ventured to find.

This journey led us through one of many shopping pavilions that sold talking toilet seats that shouted insults when sat upon and glue-on nail decorations for kids so that now your daughter can also look like a courtesan of patrons with limited resources. But then we saw it, and my son and I stood motionless as it buzzed dangerously close over our heads. It was a remotely controlled toy helicopter and he and I looked at each other knowing, without speaking, that we needed to own one of these amazing flying toys.

He and I ditched the wife and daughter and went searching for the source of the amazing hovering contraption. There we talked to the cute salesgirl who know a heck of a lot more about R/C hobbies than anyone would have expected. Geekyness is now sexy and there is no denying it. Once she showed us the über expensive version with built-in HD camera there was no backing out of this purchase. She even threw in a smaller one so we could practice crashing before taking the big one into the sky. After swiping my card she glued our names to the boxes and put them into safe keeping while we enjoyed our day at the Fair.

Using my iPhone I relocated the other half of my family and went on our merry way. We ate some alligator, which I’m sure was about 10% gator and 90% lips and assholes of other, more common, farm animals. We got a bucket of, “The Worlds Best French Fries,” that were, I must admit, pretty darn tasty. We found a stand selling corn dogs and having not had one in several years, was surprised at how delicious the were. Jade got a Gyro that tasted like a standard Gyro to me but she swears is better at the fair than anywhere else.

I talked to Al Franken for a bit about sex education programs being pulled from Minnesota health classes. He responded by saying, “I don’t like that most schools are getting rid of HEALTH CLASSES completely.” He then joked under his breath, “Seriously, those middle school kids have got to learn about deodorant.” I like him, he’s one of the few politicians I know that actually responds to A LOT of his own mail and remembers many of my letters to him. Whether or not you like his politics, you cannot deny, he’s a good dude.

As we toured an old circus train that made frequent visits to Minnesota I caught myself having a really great time. My kids were asking us tons of questions about the fair, the historical relics, and life in general. We were all getting along great, the kids were well behaved and I think I kinda understand what this whole experience is all about. It is about having an experience together, with people we care about, alongside the rest of the community.

We found a soda stand that sold some seriously crazy-ass flavors and we each tried a different kind, sharing sips from each other’s bottle as we walked. My son and daughter bounced a few steps ahead of us as we headed toward the midway. Jade reached her hand around my back and pulled me close with a smile as we walked in tandem. I felt a warmth in my chest, and hoped it wasn’t a cholesterol deposit dislodged from taking down one of the many deep-fried wonders of the day.
I realized that the fair is like anything else in life, if you go into it with a great attitude, you’ll probably enjoy yourself. I chose to be GGG and what I got in return was enjoyment. What I gave to my family was a dad who made the day fun. These are the memories that we’ll hold on to when time causes my children to grow up. These moments of unbridled sugar-laden, deep-fried hedonism are worth the pain and expense of my first angiogram.

We caught up to the kids and walked with them, all four of us holding hands. I took the kids on the Scrambler and a few other rides that made us all laugh and scream. On our way back to the entrance of the fairgrounds my son reminded me that we needed to pick up our helicopters and pointed to a giant crowed massing in front of the doors of the shopping pavilion. He said with a straight face, “That is not the place to be during a zombie apocalypse.” I laughed and said, “No son. It is not.”

Bravely, we moved through the hoard, claimed our choppers and met Jade and the girl at the exit. Arm and arm we left, went home and had discovered the kids fast asleep by the time we pulled into the driveway. If there was ever a sign of a great day, carrying kids to bed must be of the neon-flashing variety.


Aussiexile had the most brilliant suggestion for our contest to give away the scrap-booking software from The suggestion is to create a scrap-book page of Kidder and me using only publicly available information. So there it is! Email me a pdf of what you create at

Check out the website of the company at They offer digital scrap-booking software that allows you to create and develop photo books and cards that they can print or that you can print yourself. The software package has a lot of paper, layout and embellishment choices and the site offers tons of add-ons to expand your collection.

So, good luck and we are anxiously awaiting your clever submissions!

Contest contestants must submit by October 10th, 2011. The winner will be selected and given their prize on October 27th, 2011.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Friday, September 9, 2011

Kaper Parenting Advice: Reading to your children.

Recently I had a discussion about using offensive humor on this blog and have decided that this space will be more beneficial to our readers if we avoid any kind of humor that may limits the reach of our blog is not what I want to do. So I'm going to make this blog the most family friendly blog that we can. Here is our best advice for getting our kids to bed and we believe that reading to your kids every night is a great way to connect and teach values to your children. We hope suggesting this book helps our audience realize how serious we are about creating a blog that will help our readers be fantastic parents.

Kaper Rule #3

Kaper Rule #3

Masturbation is the safest form of sex that you’ll ever have with yourself. 

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Semen is the Gobblet of Immortality?

Daily Squib: Semen Proven to Increase Life Expectancy  Semen Proven to Increase Life Expectancy
Eileen Dover on 12/05/2007 07:37:00
WASHINGTON DC - USA - Women who make regular contact with semen live longer and age less than women who do not, scientists have discovered.
The finding that women who swallow semen and do not use condoms during vaginal sex, live longer and have reduced signs of ageing, has led one researcher to conclude that semen is a miracle potion that should be treasured by every woman. Male sperm contains vital chemicals that slow down the ageing process and increases life expectancy by up to 35%.

Study author Clifford J. Ponsonby, Ph.D, a psychologist at the State University of Washington in Saint Louis, also found that women who routinely had intercourse without condoms or had facials had better skin quality and wrinkled less plus also had the ability to ingest fatty foods without putting on weight.

Ponsonby's survey of 753 college women and eastern European prostitute's over a 45 year period, also found that those who ingested semen regularly either orally or through vaginal intercourse had a better over all quality of life and would be wealthier in jobs/life.

"These women have a remarkable ability to achieve serious longevity without showing any signs of ageing, this is the key to life," says Ponsonby.

Semen contains powerful hormones including testosterone, oestrogen, prolactin, luteinizing hormone and prostaglandins. Once these chemicals are absorbed through the vaginal walls they inhibit weight gain and slow down the ageing process. Women who ingested semen orally were also found to increase their ability to succeed in jobs and wealth as well as brain power and have beautiful ageless glowing skin. Ponsonby controlled for variables including method of semen extraction, frequency of sexual intercourse, as well as the women's perception of their relationship.
The longer that women went without ingesting semen the more accelerated the ageing process was found to be. Furthermore, there was an immense risk of obesity and heart disease by abstaining from semen as well as increased depression.
Ponsonby's study, which he deems "the first serious attempt to investigate the effect of semen chemistry on women," has underlined his fascinating findings in the research treatise Why Women Need More Semen .
"If you are a woman and wish to increase your life expectancy and overall health plus reduce any signs of ageing you must utilize the magical properties of semen," the groundbreaking study concludes. Ponsonby says he has seriously enjoyed working with all his female subjects in the study and would like to replicate the study but this time with 5000 women.